Thank You class 22 for a memorable birthday celebration, the whole class together with the lecturer sang me a birthday song! You guys are awsome, thank you so so much!

I'm officially 23 now! So many things had happened and past this year! I believed next year will be great as well or even better! =]

oh..something silly just happened, I was saving a friend's contact into my phone and guess what? I type "happy birthday" as the name of the contact! haha! Thank you guys for those birthday smses..it really make me happy! Thank you!



Dedicated to Amber- You are a good friend that changes and loves me as a friend! You really makes a impact in my life! You are beautiful on the inside and on the outside! Today is your birthday too! Happy birthday Amber!

I went to a short course about managing your learning opportunities today. School ended at 11am plus, and I had to wait all the way to 1530 for the course to start. I felt I learn something from this very short course. I shall quickly summarise what I had learn today.

You must be to recognise that there is an opportunity, understand it the benefits of the opportunity and being able to "tap" it. One of the most critical factor in life, is your attitude. Your attitude determines where you will go. Take the propeller if a big ship as an example, the propeller(attitude), something small compare to the body of the ship yet it is an important factor as it determines where the ship will go.

In short, they are encouraging us to be more engaging and strive not just in academic but also in other aspects of our life.

1. grab opportunities
2. be aware of threats
3. discover your strength & weakness

The memories are time you borrow. To spend when you get to tomorrow.

Celebrated zhi fen's birthday today! and we had 火锅！

I PK with mei gui and both of us gobbled down the food and I was so full that I almost vommitted..gosh! Well dint do much, chat after that and i learn a couple of magic tricks but dint manage to impress though!

I'm back from EEE camp!
The camp simply rocks, maybe because this is only my 2nd camp that I participate.
Through this camp, I made some new friends and achieve the purpose of joining this camp.

Special thanks to everyone, especially the GLs. Since the day that we met at SP, they never fail to entertain us, the campers. They came out with a lot of silly jokes & stories throughout the journey to ST. John's Island, many times the jokes they crack are “冷笑话” not funny at all but I can see all they wanted was to engage with us so that the we won't feel bored. The GLs were amazing, they let us feel too welcome to be comfortable, they insist on serving us & not let us help! Gosh, I was treated like VIP which make me feel so uncomfortable at first.



Things that didn't turn out well..

1. My 1st night din't turn out well, not use to the bed, woke up more than ten times through the night.
   
2. 2nd day was great till I was bitten by a centipede! It bite my left foot, my instinct was to kick it away when something bite me but unfortunately it flew to my right foot & bite it!
   
3. Couldn't sleep on 2nd night because of the bite, my left foot was swollen
   
4. 2 characters scared me during the night quest! (chucky & zombie with chain that shouted at us when we did not took notice.)
5. Skid was good but I thought could be better, the ending part was poor.
6. I almost hit hui xin's face with the water bomb.(so sorry, I was playing too rough)

Things that turn out well..

1. Tug of war which my team won


2. Efforts of GLs & food commander


3. the props that they made (great!)


4. Food!


5. The whole camp was successful

Nevertheless this interactive camp was a good experience for myself, I observe how a camp works the things they prepare and I felt like a 17 year old during the 3 days doing playing those games & forfeit like monkey dance, animal games and so on.

Three cheers for everyone! Hooooray!

Today is my sister's birthday and I prepared lunch for her! Cooking was never an easy task, you got to prepare the ingredients, plan which ingredient should go first into the pot. Hmm..things didn't went smoothly went I cook, I intend to fried the meat but I added too much water so it turns out like kinda boil it.. -.-

Anyway, let the pictures talk~

These are the ingredients that I prepared in advance!

It consist of 3 eggs, 4 slice of bacon, 3 packs of noodles, garlic, soy sauce, black pepper sauce and a chuck of croc meat! -delicious

Let me introduce my specially made dish! Tada~

The name of the dish is- Fried black pepper croc noodle with bacon a.k.a 黑胡胶炒风二鱼面

Well.. when you don't know which ingredient should go into the pot first and you dump everything in at one go..it turn out like this. =)

Noodle with bacon!

I went for work later and came back to cut birthday cake..haha!

say cheese! =)


another one~

together with me~

solo!

Finally the finale!

Wishing you all you dream come true~ =]

when asked about how is the food, here are the reply.

Brother: Not bad, but a bit too salty..

sis: ok la..(later she says its delicious)

lol..I guess I pass

Family vs Friends

Family vs friends, who are more important? By asking this answer msot of us may have a straight definite answer that is "family", but by giving a deeper thought, friends are to me are equally important as well.

You may argue that family provide you with shelter, materially. They are the people who gonna cry and stand together with you when something happen, rejoice when you succeed! To some extend they will sacrifice for you without any return. They are the people you get to see, communicate everyday.

On the other hand, we often hear that friends are there with you in good times & disappear when you are in the lowest point in life. They share your happiness without your sorrow.

To me, my answer is family. It is because I have a amazing family that I really appreciate them for who they are, what they had done. For instance my mom provide me the financial support that I need for my studies, my dad is a employer himself, though we still struggle with finance here & there, I am sure that my family are getting closer than ever before.

I believed some of you already heard of some family members cursing or screaming at each other at the slightest conflict, they treat each other like nemesis, blaming others for unwanted reason, children grow up in such condition may often suffer.

Friends on the other hand are obviously important as well. They too provide me with support & happiness, without them I can't imagine how my life will be. The only difference between the two is that you can choose your friends but not your family. Choose your friends wisely, respect your friends and they too will respect you, love them and they will love you back. I have seen in my life that some friends go to the extend of loving and caring for each other just like a family member does, they too will be there when you down, rejoice when you succeed, they are true friends indeed!

Friends or family whoever they may be.Treat them with respect, love and be kind to them whenever possible.

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”
Barbara Bush

A "DUMB" exprience

Last month, I did an IQ test that pops up from my computer, usually I wont entertain this kind of stuff as I think it's pretty useless, IQ test are you kidding? But out of curiosity I tried in the end. So they tell me to send an sms to get my answer, I felt something was not right but I still send anyway, and they told me I've got an high IQ, below it states to unsubscribe send the word "dumb" as it gonna charge me for the service..so I unsubscribe.

I thought I was SAFE..

I receive my bill and there's one additional bill under "G ER-YuuZoo" which cost $6, so I called and check and I was told that even though I unsubscribe, I will still be charged for that very first sms that I sent!

I was told that I had a high IQ and for that one sms, it cost me $6, conclusion, never send this kind of sms again!

Result is out, finally, after a long wait. My mood is like delighted that I gonna progress to Semester 2 but pretty sad that I only have 2.576 GPA, somehow still feel disappointed.

Next semester gonna work harder, no more ONOW to save me, which i get a "dist" and as expected, I did very badly for maths, I almost fail!

Visit boss, Stella today, it's been some time that we had a chance to sit down & talk. Sometimes even trough simple conversation, you learn something.

I participate in a badminton competition today, aww I was not selected in the end. Our group lost every competition but anyway it's a good experience. Zhi Fen & Hong Yu jiayou for the next competition.

I'm so touched right now. I just visited Seow Shi's blog & I realise she had been promoted to CGL recently! Congrats!

I was just so amaze that she rose so fast in church, a couple of weeks ago when I visited her blog & I thought she got transfered to W520, now then I realise she was the CGL.

Few years ago, when I first know her in fairprice, she invited me to church. That time, she was just a normal CG member or a helper, can't remember. Looking at her rising to CG guitarist and helping in the church, I was touched. From a little a girl, I belived she had mature alot in recent years while serving in church. It's just so amazing to watch her grow! A true friend with love & friendliness.

Went to gym today, gosh how unbelievable! I really think I need to build some muscles..hopefully

I know it's a bit late, but oh ya..anyway Happy Birthday Singapore! I celebrated a very special national birthday with a special person, a friend from China..interesting isn't? ha ha =)

I'm proud to be a Singaporean because this is where I belong, my family, friends & future. Singapore may just be just a little RED DOT, but this RED DOT is just damn hot! Looking back, it's just amazing what Singapore had went through, images of Mr. Lee Kuan Yew crying in TV when Singapore split with Malaysia keeps popping in of my mind. Even though I was not born yet but imagine the difficulties and the circumstances that make such a strong man cry, but he perseveres and make what Singapore is today!

A country that is small but yet makes a difference, remember the IMF event years back while I'm serving my NS, the YOG and the upcoming APEC, our famous Changi Airport and don't forgot our char kway tiao & carrot cake, last but not least our very own language, "singlish"

Wah lao so long never write so long liao!

Alright let the pictures do the talking!

5 days, 38 hours of work. My group and I volunteer ourselves to help out Eden school during our June holiday. It was a school for autistic children. In this memorable service, we did not just contribute our hardwork but we also gain presious knowledge about autism. Finally on 4th August, my group presented our community service to our class and personally I felt it was a job well done! Good job everyone! =)

Am I too fickle minded...
Am I too demanding....
Am I too hard to please...
Am I making the right decision...
I can't seem to give up...
But I don't know how to go on...
What's wrong with me...?

Or is it just an excuse...?

Hilarious! enjoy! =)

Celebrating my dad's 56th birthday today, we took some pictures before we got the angle and lighting right.

Here you go! =)

cutting of cake...

We try out a few times before we get the right picture lol ..

The finale, I like this picture haha =)

I was searching for the lyrics of love story and I accidentally found this song of Miley Cyrus.

I was so touched after going through the lyrics and I had some thoughts..recently hearing some of my friends starting to have the intentions to quit their study.

Guys, we are going through mountains over mountains, difficulties after difficulties..are you really going to give up? Thinking that giving up might be a relieve..is that really so?

Giving up all the efforts that you had work so hard for to get where you are now..

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I can get there

Ain't about what's waitin on the other side

It's the climb

Watch Ice Age 3 yesterday, initially wanna watch 3-D at the Cathay..but the seat were full.. in the end we went to Yishun to watch 2-D lol.

The movie was good and I was laughing through out the movie but thinking that you sit just beside peggy and angie, this 2 laughing queen just laugh all the way for 2 hours..they just can't stop...laughing machine!

Leadership

Looking at Leaders of the past few decades, we notice that many are undeniably charismatic and have a strong sense identity and self-confidence.Former US President Bill Clinton and currently President Barack Obama are disarmingly charming, inspiring charming and eloquent.They have presence and a keen in taking charge of a situation.
In the commercial world, the likes of Microsoft's Bill Gate and Apple's Steve job suggest that leadership calls for a single-mindedness about doing well despite obstacles falling along the way.The "never say die" attitude prevails.Some continue to be leaders with an amiable disposition while others care less about how they are viewed by others.
We also notice that some of these leadership qualities run in the family. There's John F. Kennedy and his brothers, Robert and Edward - President and Senators of the United States. In Asia, the Gandhis and Bhuttos have a family lineage in their respective political history. At home, Mr Lee Hsien Loong, like his father Lee Kuan Yew, leads Singapore. Even in Communist countries such as North Korea, Mr Kim Jong-II has appointed his youngest son to succeed.
Are such leaders born? Does genetics play a part in their becoming leaders? Our study on the "born" side on the leadership equation suggest that genetics and personality have a bearing on whether a person becomes a leader. we also found that genetics influence personality.
Three personality traits - Social Potency, achievement and social closeness - having a bearing on whether an individual occupies a leadership position. People high on social potency are forceful and decisive, like to influence others, enjoy taking leadership role as well as like to take charge of and be notice in social events. We found that social potency has the highest association with being in a leadership position. The more individual like to charge, the more likely he is assume a leadership role The more an individual strives to challenges, the more likely he is to end up a leader.
next comes achievement orientation. This concerns how much an individual enjoys long hours of work, trives for demanding projects, persist when others give up and strive for perfectionism.
People who persevere and strive under pressure are more likely to occupy leadership position than those who are less achievement minded.
Lastly, social closeness - the extend to which an individual is social, warm and affectionate, likes people, value close interpersonal ties, and turns to others for comfort and help - is also related to leadership role, though to a lesser degree than social potency and achievement.

First day of exam week, IT Business..erm, not good?
my 1st paper, excel and Visio and both I didn't finish both parts,aiya..
Guess almost the whole class didn't do well too..I didn't realise that I still have one last page 2 do.I was concentrating doing the front part as there is still some questions that I do not know how to do, only when the lecturer told me not to focus on those "stuck" ones but to move on..then as I flip the pages I realise I have more to do..when I thought I'm done.In the end I didn't do even the last page of the paper.

We always see on the cover page of test paper that tells us to read through all the questions before answering, even if we did not have that for the paper but gosh..how can I miss that..

One of my classmates,shiny did not save the files in the computer before he log off the computer..lol wonder what will happened?~

I regretted turning down a job offered to me, just because the basic salary is slighty lower then my current one..many decision that you make should not be accoutable to money alone. I lost a opportunity to learn something new,opportunity to know friends who are working adults, opportunity to finally change a job!

Oh gosh..for how long I've been looking forward for this day and yet I let it go.

Don't base your decision with emotion..

Tomorrow will be test week, hopefully I can do well =)

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen Official Trailer

Watched it today at bugis film garade..I liked it very much, lots of action, amazing computer effect!

After movie, ate at "empire state"..oh the food was disappointing..lol

5 days, 38 hours of community service was truly enriching, we offer ourselves for service because we had to, as part of our module. We had complains and arguments throughout these 5 days but at the end of the day, I learn more about autism kids, how they behave and why they behave in certain ways. Talking about autism kids, they are kids who are more straight forward, they need to learn things step -by-step and most of the times that they behave in certain ways because they are stress. They can't cope with stress, so you need to really know how to deal with them..but for us, we went there durng their school holiday so we didn't get to see them.

The principal of Eden school was generous on the first day, she treated us "zi char" for all of us...haha

Between these 5 days we were expected to fullfilled the planning of the assemble hall, retapes some of the lines including some at the basketball court, we were also needed to move the school furniture around the school,decorate a studio room that's all..but we finished everthing at the 3rd day, seeing that we had completed our task, they give us more to do, helping out in admin work, binding and lamenating books, washing of school corridors to painting of wall..lol

Special thanks to the 2 aunties who really took great care of us, on our last day they took cab all the way down to boonlay just to buy nasi lemak just to buy our lunch! Oh my..so touched!

Be greatful with what you have,we reach the end of the 5 days but is experience that really matters...

I went to school today. Did some preparation for ONOW's presentation. Watch a film "an inconvenient truth" about environment, global warming. A one & a half hour film which is really enriching. The effects cost by global warming, the knowledge, just by looking at the pictures showed us how much the earth was affected which most of us did not realised that it is actually happening so so fast.

After school went to cut my hair near NTUC, went straight after work later. Thank you "zhi fen, xie li & hong yu" for the food they prepared for NTUC, amazing huh?

Sometimes I just have some thoughts just by looking at the surronding people, and I thought, why do you have to behave in this way? Hmm..there is nothing left for me to say..there isn't a need.

CRS today ended fast, don't know if I will do well..but finally it's over anyway I tried my best except for kunlin's part..lol

After school stayed over at Moberly to touch up maths, but can't went for movie with classmates. Sorry guys, financial tight, hopefully next time ya?haha

Anyway was proud of myself by staying over to study, I must be discipline in my studies!
Thanks Kunlin for asking me to stay for study.
I've done well today. =)

Didn't attend school today, went for ITE graduation ceremony instead. Suppose the time is to start at 9am but in the end it drag to 1010am and I hate waiting..

Anyway glad to see some of my classmates in ITE, it's been some time since we gather. After that jason, kunlin & I went to Jurong Point to watch x-men, not bad huh? =)

Some pics taken today! =)

Today, finally have some breath over maths, at least now slowly understand what is happening. I need to learn to love my polytechnic haha, my difficulties too.

After school went to meet my financial advisor and decided to be a little braver and signed a contract. I need courage over my life, I took my 1st step and believe that it really can happen. I need to do some stretching, increase my capacity.

Humans are funny creatures, when he desire for something happens and it really happens he rejoice, but when it gets tough..he complaints. I guess it happens to me to, so excited for poly, got the course i want but yet complaints when school gets a little too tough.

I spoke to kunlin while working, we spoke about adjusting to poly life and the main problem is time management & self discipline. Can you scacrifice your "precious" time for studies? Can you play less games, watch less anime, do less shopping, work less in exchange for more study time?

I'm starting to get tired, loss some confidence but perserverance is the key!
So much targets to fullfill!

I love this Nike "Just do it"

I don't know why got this feeling of like depression..lol sounds negative ya?
I just felt living is very tired, especially when something you can't get rid of..but I don't feel like conquering it. It's been years, recently had doing something different to "escape" the problem. I don't how..it's like a jinx

Can't wait for CCA fair..I wanna join modern dancing ! =)

Struggle with e-maths today while in school..sigh my class consist of students from ITE , secondary school & JC students. The pace of the teaching was so fast and I can't catch up with the lectuerer. After the JC students left the lectuere told us that she can't slow her pace if not the JC students will get bored. Once again, I struggle with my maths..

Anyway I watch a very interesting video about singapore, a typical yet potraits the true image of singaopreans..lol enjoy!

Today was my first day of school and I'm starting to love poly life , singapore poly doesn't seems that "BIG" after all. Well , I think I need more clothes to change in between school days and please...a new laptop bag. The bag i'm carrying is also a laptop bag but it is not as portable it suppose to be..sigh buying my own notebook was trilling but carrying around make me feel sick..haha just joking

Anyway I'm still waiting for CCA fair, can't wait to join dance group! (can't imagine myself danceing though)

2 more days and school will start. For the first time, I'm excited for school, excited so much.
Lately I have been thinking and planning what I can do to improve myself when school starts. I met up with my insurance agent earlier on and she showed me a book, I read some of it and I got hooked upon this sentence "Today is a word for winner, tomorrow is a word for loser." She added that all successful people will finish what had to be done asap, she also talked about intergrity, and I found myself learning something in this conversation. I guess I have to take up the habit of reading..ha ha

Finally my poly days are coming, it's been a long wait..I'm really excited for it, excited for the challenge ahead, I wanna have a breakaway, from my comfort zone , had some plans and see what I can do tomorrow, my first day of my orientation.

It's been a long time since i blogged, but somehow I happens to browse through amber's blog and decided to write something on my own blog after reading it.Just by reading it, you feel the joy, happiness and love in her, she's truly amazing!

hey readers! Looking for cool PSP or nintendo DS? Try out http://sg-unloaded.blogspot.com/
Please support me!

Few days ago, I say something that I taught that I should never had say it. Regretting over what I confess..but today I realise that instead of regretting, instead of being demoralise..I feel that I need to be strong, positive, optimism and not letting my emotions run wild!

To you who know who you are, if possible let us preserve this special relationship. I cleared my thoughts and know what I should do..the closer the relationship gets the more ups and downs there will be..no matter how long it's gonna be, friends will always be friends and I'm honoured to be you friend and hopefully this tribulation will bring our relationship to a even higher level!

I just bought this book days ago, the moment i browse through this book, somehow I felt I really need to buy!

In this book, I get to learn how people actually think trough their "The Four Codes Of Communication" eg. speaking code, vocal code, body language code and the facial code. By paying attention to these four code you can actually have an "X-ray" eyes to be able to understand not just the person you are communicating with, it will also helps you to understand yourself more. It also has questions to test on how well you read others.

On just reading the few chapters, I realises my weakness. I need to be more observant, paying more attention on what is happening around me and I believe I need to be more focus on the smaller details which I normally overlook!

Super thanks to Jason & Sam for my birthday present! =)

THANKS GUYS!

I just visited W32o's blog and I was reading "revelation". It talks about what a new generation should do..I felt one of the point "We should be humble in the new generation" is truly amazing. After reading this sentence, I was kinda surprise..don't know why and I thought about it, feeling this was lacking in me.

Humble to me is to willing to let others know about your weakness, not hiding them or putting up a strong front, proving others that how good you are. Humble is not about low self-esteem or weakness but is about meekness, is not about proving to people how good you are just to hide your weakness. Humble to me is to share your problems and weakness, willing to trouble yourself to serve, willing to acknowledge your mistake and learn from it. Only a strong person can be humble.

John 13:14-17
Now that I, your lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example of what you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor the messengers greater than the one who sent them. Now that you know this things, you will be blessed if you do them.

I need to be humble and learn more.

Work was fun today and we celebrated junbao's birthday! 1 year older and that means you are closer to adulthood!haha..congrats dude!

Ntuc aunties bought this cake for his birthday celebration! He was extremly touched! =)

Hey, make a wish before you cut your cake!

Haha..he is really enjoying himself!

Wait!..Is this the way you treat your friend? I'm not a gay!

To junbao:
Hey junbao! It's been some time since we work together, remembering the days of useless caveman and the ah beng ah lian thing..really you are one funny and crappy guy with tons of nonsense. I really enjoying working with you! I wish you all the best in whatever you do!

Readers, do really enjoy the video I took though it wasn't clear! =)

Sometimes by hearing other people problems may be useful to me. Hearing the complains and story of the person bought me new encouragement and reminded myself.

Sometimes I felt I learnt a lot when something bad happens but yet there are more to learn and this person truly was amazing and I respected her for what she had gone through. Through her problems I rediscover my faith, since after what had happen in the last 2 months..somehow I felt improving myself wasn't much of a importance anymore, simply satisfied with just a grade B.

I need to remind myself that I'm a guy and I need to grow up!

• when i become a man, i put away my childishness
• male by birth man by choice
• manhood

I need to put away the childish attitude of mine and start thinking like a "man"

I need to be initiative and responsible..honestly sometimes I wonder how many times must I keep reminding myself to be more mature..but let every failure be a stepping stone to success!

I remember amber once said something like this in cg"I'm here who I am not because that I had never failed, I'm here who I am because I failed more than anyone of you here."

Well..guess I need to really grow and face the failures in my life.

Hey guys, I'm so excited to blog what's happening these 2 days. Yesterday went to Taman Jurong and celebrate zen and daoping birthday! Alright we suppose to create some sort of "surprise" for both of them..meaning telling daoping will be celebrating zen's birthday while telling zen's the same thing..but well in the end it seems both doesn't seem surprise at all..haha!

Jason and I went to bought a cake for both of them and since kunlin was with us..we invited him as well. School release us early so we decided to cook some dish for later on..and I cooked fried beehoon, Jason came out with a boiled egg sharkfin soup, daoping came out with 2 dishes, one of them is like our "roti prata" and the 2nd dish was..hmm I don't know what is it actually..just know it was made of potato, liyun came out with 4 dishes, seafood soup, pork rip, beef and water chestnut with clam. Well tumbs up for everyone! Sorry guys if you can't imagine how the dish looks like..should had taken their photos.

Oh ya! For those who read this post and never try my super duper extraordinary delicious fried beehoon before..I'm sorry.High chief Longjin cook it for only this special ocasion, once in a life time! Haha, we ended late and I decided to walk home together with kunlin.

Today went out with albert and jason and we birthday present for jason and junbao! Hey dudes, happy belated birthday! Thinking back, being a brithday coordinator was never easy..it sacrifices a lot of my time, brain cells, and of cause money..but looking at the smiles of the ones who recieves the present, I believed all the efforts are worth it. Happy belated september babies! =)

Sorry peeps for a wordy post..shall try to post more pictures in future.

Sometimes or even many times I asked myself."How can I love everyone?" The fact that people comes from different background, family, culture, race, character etc. How can a imperfect me loves a imperfect you? It is just so easy to love those who loves you, but to me it's extremely hard for me to loves those who had a problem with me and vice verse. The more you know a person, the more complicated it gets...as I continues to write, you must be scratching your head and asking why am I posting this..well don't get the wrong message the reason is although later I'm meeting some friends for overnight lan gaming since it's holiday..but now I'm just so bored at home..sigh

Back to topic, I really wants to loves everyone but sometimes or many times it's just simply so hard..is it a decision to tell yourself to love that particular person?I thought is it because of what I did or behave will result the reaction of others? But you can't please everyone ya? and not even everyone can please me.

Sometimes I told myself that I want to love this person more from now on. But as time past, the more I spent time with the person, the more closer relationship I gets with that person, the more problematic it gets...and I do not know how to talk that person about it. I will just simply show less concern to this person..and slowly unhappiness attitude will surface but I will be at fault if I put all blame on this person because I once read this verse before" You are as strong as your weakest relationship" but what can I do to improve this situation? Talk to that person? Continue to show that person love even thought that person won't even care what you did?hmm..simply I don't know how to or simply just gave up on talking..love requires a lot of patience, a lot of our own personnal time..we sacrific something in order to love or to find love, love is troublesome but yet I do believe that love is amazing, beautiful, encouraging..with love from others..we have the energy to simply do the immpossible! Why do we need to hate, slander, being selfish, arrogant..being "loveless". Why can't we just simply love someone?

It's just so easy to say and yet hard to do but I still wanna continue to love people as much as I could and maybe love is like a donation..you gives what you had and you don't expect any return.(I am not perfect)

If only everyone really knows how to love

Hey, back from my friend's wedding dinner! Although didn't have the chance to really chat with you but you will have my blessing dude! I believe this dinner not just about celebrating the marriage, it gives us a chance to meet up after 3 long years since we graduate..but well you guys looks about the same and didn't change much after 3 years..haha! =)

random pics taken..

I'm just too lazy to blog!

Haha!These few days was just too busy..heh! Overnight outing, working, going out with friends & so on..tomorrow I have to attend my friend's wedding!Congrats dude! My phone's usb port had some problem and I can't post the pictuers up..hmm..anyway it's just having fun fun fun these days!

Class MCE 2M, tomorrow will be our exam! Let's work hard for this final push, all the best to everyone!

Went to Jurong east library to revise with kuan hwee and ricko, my mood was spoiled by my morning sighness..I kept sneezing..feel like taking out my nose & threw it into the bin..anyway I left later to meet up with Grace, Jason & kunlin.Renjun and Junlong follow up later..study joke around and spent our whole afternoon there.Oh..ya..I saw seow ting, terecia, eileen, joyce, joanna and even damien! Miss you people..haha!

But my day was ended with a headache..sigh..left home after a quick window shopping at Jurong point..the end.

some random pics we took...

Exam not over yet and now I'm thinking of what's coming up on this september. Firstly right after exam i will joing for over night class outing and albert's outing(I name it this way, sorry albert =) ) 2 straight overnight!School's project preperation and presentation coming up on the second week & if we get through we will get some prize money..haha! But that project will be done by our teacher and not us...sigh!

Guo Xing wedding will on the 13th..oh my! Congrats dude! Follow up by kuan hwee's,jun bao and Jason's birthday, september babies..haha! I'm excited for this amazing month, what about you?! =)

These verses remind me to love people fervently, love is a beautiful thing, but can be tiring. Love requires a lot a lot of patience..imagine that everyone on this earth love people fervently..how amazing & wonderful it will be! =)


Matthew 5:43~48
Love your enemies:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbours and hate your enemies.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He cause his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Hey hey!Today meet classmates at jurong east library to do some revision on the coming exam.All the best guys for the exam, hope everyone will do well!Anyway, after revision we went to paya lebar to have smelly bean curd!(chou dou fu)
Oh my gosh..my 1st time, to those who haven't try smelly bean curd before, do really go try and have a GREAT experience! This smelly tofu really smell like shit, and i really meant it..but the moment to put it in your mouth, the smells goes away...well to me it really stinks, but I was told those from china's were 10x more smelly!Oh my god..cant imagine.
But don't get freak out by my comments, try it!

"frog porridge"(Tian ji zhou) I ate after my tofu and long distance of walking..but it's simply supercilious! =)

Hey, they look normal but smell abnormal!

teacher's day

Today I prayed before i went out, believing that today will be an meaningful and wonderful day! You just can't can't belive how beautiful today is!First I went to jason house to do my school's report and accompany him till around 8pm i left.Well get well soon dude!Dont give up in your studies, jia you and and..i wanna say thank you to your mom..she really take good care of me!

Teacher's day is a day for "us" to appreciate our teachers that came into our life and gave us knowledge about life,school works and to mould us to be better person and etc..but this year teacher's day was probably gonna be a special year...never I expected to be me, myself to be the reciver instead of the giver.haha..interesting?

For those who don't know who I'm talking about..the student is none other than my ex-collegue cum now my student ->liyun! Just few days ago I was just joking asking my teacher's day present from her because I taught her some english words before..and she really did gave me one!

Oh..well on being the receiver,I realised I'm getting older..LOL! But to be honest, I'm extremely happy for the effort that she put in..she did explain to be what the present suppose to mean and i took quite some time to understand, sorry girl!haha..your effort were appreciated! = )

Take 1 from the present she gave!

Take 2..

Take 3..she ask me to guess what does it mean..and i said "dai lu mao" aka put on green cap..usually to describe guys..hilarious..lol!

Anyway she meant that the color in the background compare to the front, although is the same color as the front but it is darker as it represent the teacher who usually operates in the background moulding the student who was the one in front shiny!got it?haha..

2nd level,my personal cupboard fill with my own collection and gifts from others!

Did you manage to see yours?=)

1st level..

Thank you people!

Hmm..sounds like thanks giving day ya? =X

I just prayed a little and I realise without God.. I'm becoming selfish.somehow..don't know how to explain.but hmm..

To Zen: I know today in school I gave you attitude..and simply that upset you..but erm..sometimes that pride in me refuse to apologise to you directly.I don't know how to tell you..but i knew you will read this and I know I need to get over with my attitude.I'm sorry dude.

When I want to help people
means I really wanna help
not just be there
but be there with a purpose

Just as I'm about to sleep..an sms struck my handphone..asking "how am I doing?" and the message went on to ask me to help a friend of mine who is unwell recently becasue of some infection.That sms dint mention what I should help but I felt that we need to help him in the area of his studies and emotions...imagine myself being struck down by this illnes and sideline from school for 1 week..class test and exam coming,projects need to be done and submitted..and that's nothing I could do.sigh..

A simple message like this make me lost my mood to sleep..lol..Tosing around on my bed, the message just keep spinning inside my head.Finally, I got out of my bed to write all these down.why?To remind me of what I need to do.

Am I being to selfish or just being simply ignorant of this friend of mine who was unwell and needed his friend to be around to help him..especially during this period of time when the exam date is drawing near.Why am behaving in this way that as if nothing had happen..or infact I should show more concern to him.I always remind myself to love people and to be a servant to others..but many times I myself was disappointed and even sick of myself why did I not change..LOL! =X

This few words struck me some time ago..but I'm not quite sure yet what it mean..here it goes "Don't let your circumstances change your decision but let your decision change your circumstances."

and hopefully i will post more often in the future..haha

Thank you for giving strength, I'm extremely tired & down..I will be more focus.Seeing myself crumble before all these tribulations.Wanted to get back up, but was disappointed but it's okay.God loves me. I don't feel like saying out, it's the same old problem..

male by birth man by choice.

manhood.

when i became a man, i put away childish things.

child like not childish.

I keep reminding myself by still i falter.This kind of feeling really sucks.Oh well, guess i need to get over it.I wanna back with a bang, really hate jcs project, it sucks to the core, used to be my favourite.It's so difficult for me to face my team after i crumble..so disappointed, complacent..just because I'm the leader i felt i lost the respect from the team, am i being paranoid?But I don't care, I'm holding on..it's time to rise up.longjin!

so stress up

wanna have a girlfriend or someone to share my problems

but i knew in my heart, I'm not ready

and i need to focus on the right priorities

LOVE is amazing,LOVE never fails

yo ppl back to blogging!
heh..yesterday was my last day working at daiso,well gonna miss those ppl there.just wanna say all the best everyone!=)
I wanted to touched them by doing some appreciation cards but they did the same back to me and I really felt blessed.
Liyun,Sindy and Daoping,thanks a million for the effort that you girls did.Simple words that really touch my heart! You guys really make a difference!

Liyun-Thank you so much for the patience and guidance.You never show irritated with me when i kept asking you where the items are..lol
you really make a difference in my work,a 19 year old flew all the way here alone,I believe you are a strong girl. Jia you when you decided to go back to study. All the best girl!

Sindy-Thanks a million!thank you for your guidance as well but really appreciate the encouragenment and support you had given me,especially in my studies.I trouble you by kept editing my working schedule but you never really complain about it.Thank you for being so understanding!=)

怎么办呢? 学校好多好多压力呀! 好想不读了...好想出国在也不回來了. 但是还是要去面对..Jcs project 就已经很烦了, 加上工作..不知为何觉的怪怪的, 好像做错了诀定, 但是已太迟了.不知为何这些日子无发钻心..有心事也不知跟谁说.不高兴还是要笑...hmm..所以笑多一点吧孩子!哈哈!

I love this song to the max!=)

You know what?I'm not asleep yet.Been turning and tossing in my bed for sometime.sigh..tml will a tiring day..school starts from 8am to 5pm then need to work from 6pm to 10pm..anyway I've been thinking about a whole lots of things..school works,my part time job,myself.

Especially myself.I really feel I need to talk more,be more open..had been thinking real deep about this problem.I want to be someone who people look up to,I want to be initiative,be responsible for my actions and words,leadership.So many things spinning in my head and I'm glad to had made a decision.heh..don't worry readers..I'm not sad or emo-ing..haha!Just some self-reflections.=)

Tml school starts at 8am and my time reads 0130am and I'm still here..argh..anyway excited for tml JCS lesson,my favourite!Time to rise up my beloved teammates!Let's us not slack any more..a decision to make,be result good or bad you decide.It's not about the performance from the other groups but it's about the effort we put in..a leader needs a team and a team needs a leader!The team needs the help of every individual.

God bless ya and have a GOOD NIGHT!=)

uh oh..Cora got scolded because of me..argh..I should have defended her more..hopes she is alright!I prayed today before i go work..haha and well God gave me double portion of what I prayed for.:) Well it's elvi last day of work..kinda feel a little sad.Went home and prayed and I felt much better.I prayed for her,myself and every single relationship to be reconcile.
It's been a while since I felt the presence of God so strong like never before.I prayed for double presence even in cg as well.
I wasn't always really open during CG maybe because of people around me..but I must to learn to focus on God more.

oh God when is the sermon on manhood gonna be out?
I really wanna watch it!argh..I want to be a man!

Went to service,service was amazing..but i forgot to bring money to thithe.This is my 1st service for 2 weeks and I missed it so much!I WANT MORE!But for one moment when pastor mike was leading us to release our disappointment to God,I feel I wasn't open enough.When pastor was leading us to let God into our "house" where there are many rooms where our hurt were stored.I was visualizing it,leading Jesus into this particular room where it states disappointment with "someone's name".I told Jesus,this is the room that I wanted you to enter.I opened the door and the room was dark..nothing can be seen.I told Jesus,can you light this room?I turn my head and I saw Jesus outside of the house looking in through the window...
screams were heard during altar call but yet I'm unmoved but I'm not disappointed with today service.I know my time will come.

well well..had dinner with kunlin and karyie after movie,earlier on I watched "wanted"hmm..wasn't good..too fantasy I thought but okay if you like Matrix kind of movie maybe you should watch it.

Just came back from home,i met my brother's friend below my block and we chatted awhile.Initially we were just chatting about games and past experiences when i first get to know him..no idea why suddenly we talked about my brother and my family..he told me that he once asked my bro why he doesn't want to go back study..my bro said he decided to work so that my sister and i can have a chance to study..suddenly my mind went blank..dono what to say.He continued and tell me to study hard.
I felt so sad,touched and guilty..what am i doing these years?Concern only for myself and friends and i neglected about my family..I prayed to be a man before.male by birth,man by choice..yet i can't take care of my family.I hope this post can remind me of the decision i made.I wan to take responsibilty in my household.I'm believe i learnt something today!:)

what is love?
To me love is not just a relationship between a male and a female
is about loving someone and not complaining,no matter what it takes
love is about sacrifice,invisible love..

Decided to blog this up too after watching it from joshua's blog

I watched it for 4 times and it's simply just so touched by it.

That's this girl that i really want to pray for..i know she don't like her name to be posted up..

dear lord

i pray you could strengthen her

heal her broken heart

father she may not be a christian

but i still pray that you could help her

help her to be positive

holy spirit

guilde her

remind her to be strong

father i pray

you could take away

the anger

the hatred

the unforgiveness

father help her

to let go

let go of her negative emotions

father i pray

help her to overcome her problem

in jesus name

Name the 20 people.At the end of the survey choose 5 people to do the survey.Don't read the questions, name 20 people first!according to alpha(boy girl boy girl arrangement)frm number 10 den is random.

1.Jason

2. amber

3. zen

4. wilma

5. ricko

6. seow shi

7. jun long

8. seow ting

9. kunlin

10. sijia

11. torance

12. grace

13. jia sheng

14. karwen

15. kok peng

16. terecia

17. junbao

18. joyce

19. shao yuan

20. sarah

How do you meet Number 14 ?
[karwen]- she's my ex cg member,a lovely person!

What would you do if you have not met Number 1?
[Jason]- hmm..dono?

What if Number 19 and 20 dated each other?
[shao yuan & sarah]- eh..it can't be,they don't know each other =.=

Will Number 6 and 17 date each other?
[seow shi & jun bao]- no!

Describe Number 3.
[zen]- a funny guy,a crappy guy,a nice guy..and the list goes on

Do you think Number 8 is attractive?
[seow ting]- yup!definitely,she looks great!

Describe Number 7.
[jun long]- a talkative and helpful guy!but he is shy sometimes,LOL!

Do you know any family members of Number 12?
[grace]- no..

What language does Number 15 speaks?
[kok peng]- chinese,hand signal or even eye power!:X

Who is Number 9 hanging out with?
[kunlin]- his project team mates recently?

How old is Number 16 this year?
[terecia]- hmm..14?

When was the last time when you spoke to Number 13?
[jia sheng]- during class chalet i guess

Who is Number 2 favourite singer/band?
[amber]- dono..but i only knew the song "push" was her favourite song in the past.lol

Have you ever dated Number 4?
[wilma]- nope

would you ever date with Number 1 ?
[Jason]- no..i cant imagine..lol,but a gd friend

Is Number 19 single now?
[shao yuan]- should be

What is Number 10 last name?
[sijia]- tan

Would you ever be in a relationship with Number 11?
[torance]- ..why am i being asked with this kind of questions?lol..but ahh..he is my brother :)

What is the school of Number 3?
[zen]- ite dover

Where does Number 6 stays?
[seow shi]- jurong west area

Does 18 like chilli/curry?

[joyce]- not sure,wasn't really close with her..

Number 5 gay/lesbian?
[ricko]- yea yea!agree with my both arms!(just joking dude)

Number 2 naked?

[amber]- yes!she speaks the truth!

To amber:
few months ago i watched this sermon about manhood and adult adolescences.I can't describe how I felt after watching it..felt like being slap in my face and say "hey wake up longjin!" I realise how childish I am,but it took me this few months to have the courage to apologise.Initially wanted to tell you all these during the class chalet but didn't have the chance to, again wanted to tell you after cg but failed in the end. I told myself,no more excuses,no more reason...finally i told you but yet I felt it was undone or maybe I need to be more humble.

In the past when i just decided to leave cg I still went for service on Saturday but although not every single week but I tried to make it a effort because I know I need God in me.I need to be renew,recharge to get myself ready for the coming week.but still I felt it was not enough and so i added songs in my blog in an attempt to keep my relationship with God alive.

I tried to live a holistic lifestyle and kept my integrity but to no avail..often I was distracted, often felt spiritual drained but every time I went to pray,I will be confidant again.It was like a cycle..standing in between the broad and narrow way.Although I believe I had become stronger and learn a lot during this period, still I remain stubborn,refusing to back down.

I asked this question when I'm still a young christian why would those that are successful,have a lot of friends,who are positive in character,righteous and happy with what they had still need God.I was told that you can be a very successful person,a very cheerful person but without God you can only get an B, but with God you can get an A.I thought I understand it at that time but only till now I realise how true it is.

I often feel tired,drained even though i keep telling myself to be positive.I realise that I lacked a constant communication with God,a constant connection.I did not go cg, did not read and pray faithfully,without Him it's very hard for me to maximise my potential in me.Yes,I did went for service but man shall not live by bread alone.So I decided to come back to God,I had been thinking about this for a really really long time.Maybe because of unforgiveness,hatred..or fear,what if i backslide again,what if I can't make it and I don't know how to face cg..face you,feeling a sense of guilt, a sense of let down.

I know I'm not perfect,I know I had a decision to make.Told myself no more what ifs,I need to take the 1st step if something was to happen.I always have this sentence in my mind"A champion is someone who never quits not someone who never fails."

Let's give everyone a chance,let's give God a chance to come into my life once more.I truly believes love conquers all!

longjin

I asked if God really answer prayer?
is it because it happens just because of coincidence or just pain luck?
I asked is there really God?
is God just your own imaginations,your emotions?

But i say,whatever reason i know when i pray,luck happens,when i pray coincidence happens!
I know this imaginary relationship I had with this person simply touched me with His love,with this emotions I find strength to carry on..

Tag by grace to do this

here you go :)

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
-give her hairdryer treatment?cry over it?i really dono..lolz

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
-i wanna be a wildlife ranger,wanna explore the world! ;p

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
-beach wedding?eh no idea..

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
-sort of

5. What's your ideal lover like?
-hmm..cheerful..encourager..sweet and the list goes on..

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-loving someone,i will recieve love back when i love someone! :]

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
-very long?till the feeling is dead?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
-give her my blessing..but cry inside! LOL :X

9. Is there anything that's made you unhappy these days?
-yea..many many things..

10. Is being tagged fun?
-yup!

11. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
-dono?still deciding on some things..

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
-family

13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
-cheerful,nice and sweet and..erm weird?

14. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
-single and rich

15. What's the first thing you do every morning?
-stare at my clock and see if i'm late for sch or work!

16. Would you give it all in a relationship?
-yes

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
-dono..never had this b4

18. What type of friends do you like?
-anyone

19. What type of friends do you dislike?
-the list is long..lol o.O

agrh..i'm so drained,so tiring

Need to be patient..2 more days.

something will happen

sometimes friends are there to be with me

but I always forgot about them..o.O

The decision I made.I will be working 2 jobs..honestly felt troubled about the decision I've made..worried about my studies,my health(more panda eyes probably)but it's time for me to grow.Have been troubled recently..so many things yet undone..school homeworks,projects..work..sigh life is nothing but to keep improving..sometimes felt so tiring..so alone.Don't worry guys,I'm okay! just sorting out some thoughts. :)

But everything gonna be alright

gonna cut down on "dota-ing"

gonna touch my books more

It's not about material needs

not about money,of cos money is what I wanted more

but is time

for me to grow

for me mature

to increase my capacity

to be strong

to focus

Lord I need you now

not just this very moment

I need to you daily

every minute

every second

remind me

The law of harvest

I don't want to wander around

I want to be someone

everything start from small

I know i'm not perfect

I need strength

I need you..

Everything in your future will be created by something in your present!(galatians 6:7)

heyo!back from work!2nd day of work!Today was quite surprise to soo many "visitors"..haha!Work was dull and i accidentally cut my hands,just a slight cut though..but super thanks to janet,ah seng,grace,jonathan and even joyce!Their presence really lifted my spirit.
Dint't wanna post too long..it's late and i'm still deciding on my NTUC work..hmm..one more day left for me to consider..

Can't wait for holis to come!class chalet HERE I COME! :)

hey peeps!Yesterday was my 1st day working at daiso!Guess what,my dress code was shirt with tie,jeans,sport shoe and a pink apron..haha..lame?A new environment a new challenge!I've got to learn a few simple Japanese greetings like "sama de" which means thank you for your hard work!My 1st day of work was smooth sailing,I was attach to qiao wen,she is from china and had a pleasant character.Well,overall I would say compare to NTUC,daiso was much more tiring..not that you have to carry heavy stuff but they just simply wants you to keep working.NTUC can slack like nobody business while daiso can work like nobody business.lol

Still holding on to NTUC,boss doesn't wants us leave..keep saying we had worked so long together and have a certain amount of relationship,many aunties will miss us if we leave.Boss even compromise to let us work on weekdays after school and mention about the coming bonus on august and pay rise..I was like WOW!Haha..tempted by money luh..but hm..I really felt I still need to go.
How how how?almost everyone wants us to stay..jason suggest to work 2 jobs till bonus..haha..good idea but eh..super duper tiring!Imagine working around 6 or 7 days a week!No time for school work,games,friends..that's crazy man!Perhaps need to negotiate with boss!=)

Okay!back to today,grace came to school to look for me and jason..actually we were suppose to meet at some other place but because of my laziness I wasn't really wanna meet..sorry grace..lol :x
How sweet of grace to gave us both a card each,thanks girl!=)

Later went to science center MacDonald for some revision on school work but hm..looks like he is "not feeling well"hopefully he will be okay.Well.."suppose" to study but in the end study on PSP instead..lol

Something GREAT is going to happen to me!:)

For Longjin,From Grace

yoyoyo!yesterday went to service and after it,I bought a book! "The ultimate reference guide to increase."This book have had all the knowledge you need to know to increase yourself!I quickly bought it after service,I was so excited to read it.No idea why i rush for it after service,I'm no fan of books..but perhaps I was just another typical "kiasu" singaporean..haha! :x

signed by Robb Thompson :)

autually wanna ask for a photo shot but was afraid..lol

I thought I wanted to love everyone..yet I was disappointing..childish..sigh =(

I had this feeling that is creeping inside of me..hate it so much!So many things i wanna do. but yet i can't fulfill it..so many things I wanna do but yet the time is not right,so many things I wanna do but yet time is against me..am i being too anxious?But my wish-list is getting longer..

Things happen around that I'm not happy and yet I had to keep quiet.I really hate this feeling to the core!am I being negative?I'm getting exhausted..how I wish someone will be there when I'm lonely..someone to hear my complaints after a day of hard work,someone to share my happiness and sorrow and someone who will give me a pat in the back and say"hey well done!"And someone who never fail to make me smile.

Despite this..I told myself to be strong..remember the promises that I made..remember the aims that I set.

The harvest are plentiful but the labourers are filled..lord I'm hungry for a mighty move from God,lord I'm thirsty pour out your holy ghost.

Tired..tired..tired..been a tiring day..
nothing much to blog..or too tired to blog but blogged anyway..lol =X

anyway special grats to ting mei on belated birthday!
eh..hmm..came a bit late but haha..but anyway

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ting mei mei! cheers~!= )

heyo!back to blogging!hehe..been so busy this few days rushing for the mini project and didn't got the chance to really sit down to use the com except for research and DOTA-ing..haha!Finally it's all over!wootz! = )
I really learnt alot during this project,although it's just 2 weeks as a leader..I saw my weak points clearly and i really need to improve on it!=X
When you fail to plan,you plan to fail!Lack of proper planning was the key reason to so much delays in our works and i really need to touch up on it!

Yesterday while we rush to finish the project,I saw great team spirit,honestly.Everyone gets their butts off the ground and did a great job!I was delighted!woohoo!I was kinda surprise to see jia sheng doing so well,chipping so many ideas and contributing so much to the art work.Although i knew that he got the potential,but he dint really get the ball rolling since the start.

Ricko was always the "noisy" fellow that talks so much but he never failed to bombard us with his ideas even though many times his ideas was not always useful but comon!You are the one who always make us laugh and brighten the atmosphere!You better start "rotting" soon!muahaha!=X

Kok peng was the quiet guy that sometimes we forgets about him.But he is one person you can count on when things need to be done!Many times i gave him something to do and honestly he never once say "no i don't know how to!",accepting every responsibility that I threw at him.Amazing!Kok peng but you really got to talk more ya?= )

Honestly guys.from the start i was quite disappointing about how things were going,no one seems interested,no one seems bothered..till yesterday i saw the potential in everyone,maybe because there is no time left..but i still wanna say I'm so proud of you guys!So happy to see the pirate ship done by ricko and kok peng..a bit funny la..but certainly much much better that the family coaster that is done by me!haha! =X

I know that you guys may never read this post but I still wanna say thanks guys!
So glad to be in the same team as you guys!cheers~! :D

argh..tiring day!But I'm pleased that today was enriching and i saw myself moving forward.Had AM test today but got some feeling that i won't score high..but it's okay,shall do better next time!


After the test,I went for english lesson and woots..my head got really big.Still doing on the mini project and everyone was complaing about tiring,and that includes me.Taking the leadership role was never easy,you always had to think more than others,do more than others,make the decisions and so on.I was never uncomfortable with that role.But I still need to be responsible and do what a leader should do.Though I am not the best leader around but I still tried my best and learning on the way.It's a decision I made.somehow I looked up and I saw this encouragment words that are pasted on the walls,and it really lift me up.Simple words they are but it really lifted my spirit.Here is goes"Every task has an unplesant side...but you must focus on the end results you are producing."I really need to improve and learn a lot!



I have been praying recently to be a "man".Not that I'm a gay or something,lol!But I need to improve on my maturity!I need to grow up from a boy to become a man,break away from where I am.!"maturity does not comes with age,it comes with the ability to accept responsibility!"

suddenly something pops in my mind."How can i go heaven?"I always thought that in order for one to go heaven,he must be a devoted christian all his life,to accept Jesus as his lord and saviour,to do the necessary things that a christian should do.Be faithful,thrust in the lord,fast,daily prayer,reading the bible daily.What else?Our studies are graded by ABC's,in order for one to go to the next level we must have a certain amount of grade to proceed,surely God will not condemn us ya?Or to what extend must we do in order to get the "entry pass" to heaven?How is our death being decided?

Everyone knows heaven is a perfect place,but how can a "not perfect person"die and go to heaven?The moment one die,Jesus came and redeem him?I have no answer to the question I'm asking,no idea why am i asking in the first place..


Special grats to Manchester united to retain their EPL title,hee = )
Special happy belated mommy's day!

I LOVE YOU MOM! =]

oh dear..i see myself cracking in the presence of pressure.It's just a small pressure though but I'm feeling somehow exhausted..lol..kinda lazy..kinda complacent!Somehow the engine in me stops running for a while.I'm getting more childish.sigh.

Gotta submit a project and 2 weeks time..and we haven even get started.sigh.Things doesn't seems the way i wanted to but that's life.I can't falter,I'm the leader..comon longjin!Nothing is impossible ya?Remembering that this year i wanna have a breakthrough in my studies?So much to hope for,so much to go for!Though i felt I'm getting complacent recently but i can't stumble for now!Every problems and difficulties brings me to another level,make every step a step of faith.

dear lord

i need you by my side

to give me strength

and confidence

i do not want to be lazy

i do not want to be complacent

i do want to remain as a boy

remind me

when i become a man

i put away childish things

i will accept responsibility

fulfilled my duty

make me weak

so that you can be strong

dear lord,

i wanna have a breakthrough this year

take away the laziness in me

help me to be creative

i can do it lord

I'm believing you for a fruitful year

thank you lord

i love you

Woo!This is my number 100 posts!haha..a great journal about myself.Looking back at those memories that shape who I am today.Indeed I see myself growing!

Today was a wow wow day!After work went to daiso with jason,kuan hwee & his girlfriend for interview.Found out that we were not be able to interview for some reasons,quite disappointed though but at least we were still able to fill up the employment form.=)
I'm pretty quite excited for the job,hopefully I can get it.It's a new environment,a new challenge,a new level I think I wanna move up to and of cos the PAY!haha..yea?

Anyway went to suntec city's arcade to play those "sweets" again..LOL!jason was amazing excited over it..haha.Looking at his seriousness as he play,come on dude,relax a bit la.haha!

After playing we went to a Japanese restaurant to settle our dinner.We were able to choose the amount "hotness" for the item we ordered,from 1 to maximum 8,and most of us chose 8,that's obviously the most most spicy one!I took one sip and immediately my mouth was filled with a burning sensation..LOL!Never had this experience before,super duper extraordinary hot for me..haha.

After the dinner i can't even walk properly,got to rest after walking some distance..lol..zzz.Honestly it's a terrible experience but it was fun,everyone was laughing and having fun throughout the dinner.But no super duper spicy dinner again!

I'm getting more complacent..

wanna buck up

wanna buck up

wanna buck up

=)

Had hypnosis lesson today,as usual feeling sleepy while the teacher is teaching but today still not so bad,we did some practical stuff & it's quite interesting although I didn't quite understand..haha..

I begin to start loving my lesson,Love it so much..LOL!

english lesson was exciting,we had a group project to present to the class.

Though I'm quite nervous up there together with my group members,but knowing that I had a job to be done,I had to remove the fear out of me & present!And thank God,I thought my group did pretty well.=)

Be the salt & light,ya?

I wanna be the light in my group,especially it's such a good opportunity to overcome my stage frights.A wonderful day with a wonderful experience.Who says ITE means "It's the end".With such learning experience and I know I'm moving forward!

Next coming up we gonna present yet another "mini project",it's about introducing 2-3 Singapore attractions.COOL!I'm loving this lesson more than ever!haha.

aloha!

Shall do a short post.=)

Today work till 1pm and went off home to get changed and went to chinese garden.Yup!Community service,it's a new CCA that I joined recently.Today we were instructed to help out on collecting the free goodies bags for those old folk's that we were supposed to lead.
Went there rather early and collected the goodies bags.

Finally waiting around 30mins,they arrive together with the teacher in charge.
Thought we were supposed to be like a tour guide leading and helping those elderly while touring garden,but end end up our teacher told us that we could go off if we want..LOL!

So our duties we only on taking those bags,have packets dinner and we could go!=.=

Kinda surprise but we went off and decided to play lan at a nearby lanshop..haha.It's been some time since I go to lanshop.=X

Anyway played battlefield and I was own till my pants drop..haiz..

Played till 10 plus and we went home.

The end = )

Some pics taken during work before shop open.

= )

woolala~

LOL?

Few days ago,I sent her a letter,finally telling what i wanted to say to her for a very long time.Those words in my heart were finally flush out of me.Meaning it's time for me to continue my life,start having dreams and vision.But the very sad thing was that she did not even reply.I asked her did she receive it and "yes" was only the answer given.

Class was fun as usual getting to see my friends,the only dull lesson was on PLC.Theory lesson "hypnotises" the whole class to sleep.Maybe because there was no interest in that module that make our lives difficult.

okie!let's read something more positive.Communication skills was always being labeled as a "boring & time wasting"lesson.Seeing some students just simply refuse to participate in any "activities" in class but i thought otherwise.I want a breakthrough in my speech,the way i talk and my skills with interacting with people.I want to go on to the next level of confidence,not just by plain talking but to talk in a more mature and tactful way!It's a great opportunity to improve my self-esteem and my creativity.With that I'm excited for the next lesson.


Today had PLC lesson again,was hypnotise again by the teacher,haha.but after

all i thought he is a nice guy!=)

After school some my classmates decided to meet up at science center's MacDonald to touch up on our maths,but in the end,end up chit chatting more

than study..haha!

Had a great time at mac but thought of needing some pics for blog to make it more lively,we came out with some ideas to take some "ahem"...pics

Ronald MacDonald..this is how much we love you!

enjoy people!=X

he looked pretty freak out by us!haha,funny expression ya?

being tormented by us again!haha=)

okie I'm sorry ronald,I love you!

ah..this looks disgusting!=/

theoretically,sometimes a group of guys can do something really silly

hey yo!

second day of school,my first lesson got to do with some BINARY numbers!

from decimal to binary number to hexadecimal to addition and subtraction of binary numbers!

I can't really absorb what the teacher is teaching..my friends says that he is going ONE BIG ROUND to teach a simple thing..LOL!

I last touch those things since my secondary school days.

I had already forgotten everything..sigh struggle a little here and there but still able to catch it thanks to my helpful classmates!=)

After school went to clementi to walk with friends,they just keep talking about hamster.haha!they just crazy about it recently.=X

okie more books to be touched later on,cya!

hello peeps!

It's been some time since my last entry.

Haha,anyway today was my first day of school,really great to see my classmates!

The time table changed alot too,from 2 days of lessons in the previous semester to lessons every day now.Great!

That means my life will be a little more meaningful!haha.

Anyway I'm expecting a great breakthrough in my academic as well as my achievements this year!

I'm trying to adjust my life and mindset to prepare myself for poly life when I graduate.I'm excited for this season of responsibility.

Together with jason and kunlin,we were recommended by our previous class advisor for a special year end project.Our names were put into a competition as well!

I'm believing in God for a great harvest this year in my studies!

All the way!

GOGOGO!

When I became a man,I put away childish things
-childhood
-teenage years
-single adulthood
-married life
-senior years


childhood(age 1-5)
-need concrete authority(don't do this or you will be punished or cane the child)
-because of the childishness


7 characteristic of childishness
1-center of his own universe(concern only about his own way,doesn't care about others)luke 15:11

2-insensitive to the needs of others

3-demanding of his own way-luke 7:31

4-Throws temper around(meekness doesn't mean weak,a strong person have self control but a weak person takes strength to control,it take strong man to exercise self control)
-A real man is a gentleman

5-irresponsible in his behaviour

6-unable to reason with

7-only obeys concrete authority


As you mature,you are suppose to outgrow your childishness
It's ok to be child-like but it's horrible to be childish


When I became a man,I put away childish things


1- age 0-5 50% basic given knowledge
2-age 5-8 80% basic given knowledge
3-age 13 80 % of what you learn is going to be with your lifetime(e.g. if you are still poor in maths by age 13 most likely you will struggle in your maths your whole life)
therefore when a child is 13,which is around sec1,he is being decided to which stream he should go(express,NA,NT)
4-By 15,u begin to think in terms of extract understanding
-u begin to analayze(he wants to understand why)
-It's also a time of "window discipline."meaning if you miss to discipline him during this window,u can miss discipline him totally
-It's too late to cane the son by age 15(only at younger age u can use concrete authority)
-by 25,u begin to learn principles and wisdom to build your life
-principles of life
-principle of communication
-understanding give you wisdom
character is measured by the words you say(yes means yes even no contract is signed)
People measured your character by the degree you keep your word
Be a keeper of your word
-A habitual liar is a childish man
-A man not performing his word is childish
-Be independant is good but be rebellious is childish
-I'm in church but my needs are not met by others,childish!


REAL MAN LIVES BY CONVICTION NOT BY CONVENIENCE
he should not stay in his parents house upon marriage because he accepts the responsibility as a man


Kids go after involment but real man goes after commitment!




2 things mom do to his child
1-she corrects him
2- she made the decisions



therefore be a man,don't let your wife act like your mom as she constanly corrects you or made the decisions
when a wife has to act like a mom,make all the decision,take care of the house,he would find it hard to intimate with her!(imagine imtimate with your mom?)He will start getting a mistress and not to love her because he will lost the attractions on her.




Therefore gals should not be a man's mother nor a man let her wife be her mother




By 15 years old,you can tell if he had become a man by his sense of respondsibility


problems with ladies:
-most woman thinks she is on a rescue mission
-she thinks that she got to give attention to him and love him in order "to change him"BUT eventually when you marry him,you will have to mother him!




1 corin 11:7
A woman is a glory of man
the better your man is,the better the woman become
The first step of getting help is to start accepting responsibility
therefore start acting like a man and accept responsibility!




Real man-they feel,think and they act!
kids-feel,act and think!
immature males only recognise one thing,concrete authority

Fathering is the most important ministry in a family

When I became a man,I put away childish things

The first step of getting help is making the decision to change



BE RESPONSIBLE IN YOUR WORDS & ACTIONS!
BE A MAN,DARE TO TAKE ON RESONDSIBILITY!

Dear heavenly father
I come before you this evening
just as I am
I want to grow up
when I become a man
I want to put away
all my childish things
I made a decision today
I will no longer
be the center of my universe
I will learn to be sensitive
I will stop demanding my own ways all the time
help me
to exercise self control
due with my temper problem
I will be responsible
renew my mind
help me to be resonable
I don't want
to be motivated
by concrete authority
I want the wisdom of God
the leading of the holy spirit
to teach me how to live
amen.

Working at NTUC,looking at the price of the goods that kept on increasing,

from rice to cans to even noodles.And I thought,when is my pay going to increase as well?..haha

Anyway,the increasement is not just a couple cents to some product but acculumate to even a few bucks..sigh more money to pay for our daily expenses.

But God is faithful,he provides us with provision even with the increament of our daily expenses.That's the encouragement I've got.

As a student,abviously I'm still not financially responsible to my family spending but at least I lighten the burden so as my parents need not need to give me allowance.And obviously i need to start saving up for raining days:"every money you spend is a seed you destroy but every money you save is a seed you planted"=]

Working can sometimes become really boring,but I really got to look beyond the "boring" to motivate myself to work hard & positively.Like improving my customer service & holding on to my responsibility.

Like what pastor said during service,I've got to have the spirit of excellence in me!

And I need to improve!=)

Dear readers

I edited my playlist to FIRE things up!

Let's keep the FIRE burning!

Amen!=]

Today work was extremly tiring.haha..maybe i should say tiring but fun.In the mist of our work we still must know how to enjoy!

After lunch me & jason went to bring back 2 trolley at a rubbish centre near blk 172.Gosh!who the hell left it there..right beside the centre..oh man..The trolley was filled with rubbish & we were told by our superior to remove the locks & bring it back to ntuc.Terrible experience i should say,haha smelly!

While we had difficulties removing the locks,one guy from bangladesh volunteer to help..haha thanks dude!=]

He told us that he was very happy to see us work because he saw a lot of young singaporeans choose to "jalan jalan" around rather than work.He said he was proud of us!haha,really happy to heard that,it really inspire me!=]

So those youngster out there who are jobless,he must talking about you,you guys must really think about it!LOL =X

Anyway,rice came super later today..5pm,sigh got to do OT.
The racks to put those packets of rice were TOTALLY empty,not even 1 packet was left..gosh!Left with no choice,jason, me & ah seng stayed back to replish the rice.

OH MY GOODNESS!damn damn lots of rice..kinda fainted..haha =/

I can't really remember but it's about 8 pallets, 2 lockage & a few trips of trolleys to contain those rice..but at the end 3 musketeers finally

get the job well done!=]

Here are some of the fun we had!haha,lame?

I'm exhausted..man it's real!

okie this is fake..added a few packs of rice to make it look real =]

finally it's all over!haha.

pulling the pallet away!=]

nothing just a photo of myself!=]

ah seng & me clearing the mess!

Oh my jason..please don't show us your ass!=X

haha.

jason being crushed!

are you suppose to smile?or are you too tired?

eh..hello?wake up..we gonna work!=/

tada!finally work complete!=]

After work went to help huishan with her composition together with jason..haha=]

Took a photo of huishan without her noticing..haha

actually wanna take with her but she camera shy luh..lol

Finally here to blog!!haha.

Not kinda busy la,just that yesterday came home later after movie & sis was using computer so din't have the chance to blog.

Anyway today ends work at 2 plus ba..didn't notice the time..anyway had lunch with together with some boonlay gang members,and hui shan today was your last day of work..haiz..another member left..considering this coming friday will be kai jun's turn.=(

Junbao & sam left earlier as they got something on while me & jason stayed on to chit chat.We talked for really very very long.I almost fell asleep..LOL(shh!)=]

Anyway hui shan,all the best!

Though you will never read this but you will always be in our hearts!=)

Okie back to tml,went to suntec for movie with classmates and we watched Shutter.OMG la..not frightening at all lo..haiz...i was preparing myself for a trilling movie but in the end kinda lame.LOL XD

Kungfu longjin?
try harder la!!

(p.s:the staff standing beside me must be having 3 stripes on his forehead)
Went in too early,no one & we decided to do something silly!
Wall.E
Yo yo yo!check it out yo!guys!

Today went to expo service alone as usual.

aiya boring boring long trip..sigh

but it's worth it,service was impactful luh..pastor talks about decision making & not being ambivalence.Took down lots of notes & here are some of them:

• 
  
  
  To get what you want in life,you must start from where you are



• 
  
  
  Decisiveness is the quality to change



• 
  
  
  If you wait for a perfect situation,nothing will be done



• 
  
  
  Every money you spent is a seed you destroy but every money you saved is a seed you planted



• 
  
  
  Never despise a small beginning

why do people fail to make a right decision?sometime we wanted a "perfect decision"we thought of "what if",thus putting unnecessary fear in us,fear of making a wrong decision or focusing on the obstacles ahead.Worst still inconvenient or even lazy plays a part in it,for example-"next time I'll do it."

When the next time comes we "next time" again,endlessly pushing our responsibility away.

Here are 9 steps in ABCs to help you along the way:

1. 
   
   
   A-ctivate your planner-->create a to-do-list



2. 
   
   
   B-reak large task-->break it into smaller task



3. 
   
   
   C-reate a deadline-->Don't just set deadline as "soon",soon can be anytime but set a deadline that is visible



4. 
   
   
   D-eal with the mess-->organise your stuff,neat work place,sort your files & papers properly



5. 
   
   
   E-ncourage yourself-->tell yourself you can do it!



6. 
   
   
   F-ace your fears-->Do the most difficult first,so that when it's done the rest looks more easier



7. 
   
   
   G-oals review-->tick those you had done in the to-do-list(it encourages you)



8. 
   
   
   H-ang on,don't give up!

Well another day that passed and I learn something today.

*It's not about making a decision but is to make the right one!

JUST DO IT!

Just reach home at this hour..tired luh

but having a fun day at west coast with some buddies!=]

Anyway shall answer some questions from grace blog.

1] At what age do you wish to marry?

-26 to 28 best!unless no one loves me..LOL=]

2] What i want the most now?

-my her?hmm..

3] Who is the person I thrust most?

-myself?unless God included.

4] Who would you choose between friends or him/her ?

-her

5] If you can have a dream to come true,what would it be?

yes!!definitely..i wanna be like croc hunter Steve Irwin!He rocks!

6] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

-yup!

7] What are you afraid to lose the most now?

-my love ones!

8] Do you believe in eternity love?

-no

9] If you meet someone that you love,would you confess to him/her?

-depends on the situation.

10] List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

-eh..loving,kindhearted & caring!

11] What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

-cheerful,understand my feelings,to be there when i need her & poor!(yup,don't like rich girls=X)

12] What feeling do you hate the most?

-unreasonable demanding & betrayal

13] Do you cherish everyone single friendship of yours?

-of cos!

14] Do you believe in God

-hmm..honestly,half hearted.

15] What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

-my family

16] Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

-yes!but won't go for random though.

17] At this point of time,would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?

-new

18] If there's a chance for you have a lunch with a celebrity,who will it be?

-God

19] describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.

-A Big Headed Tweety Bird =X

20] What do you enjoy the most?

-spending time with good friends playing like crazy!

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above,and add in your personal question,make it a total of 20 questions,then tag 8 people in your list,list them out at the end of this post.Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged.whoever does the tag will have blessing from all.People who've been tagged:

1. albert
2. junbao
3. torance
4. karyie
5. terecia
6. xinyi
7. sarah
8. kar jun

argh!Today working was miserable..=(

Headache ar!..sigh,but still gonna work cos auntie on medical leave.

Warehouse came late,so gonna work OT till 430pm.

Wanted to go out with stella but in the end because of ending work late & not feeling well..i canceled it.

Anyway tml is gonna be my offday!!!woohoo!

But..haiz..no one ask me out lei..stay at home rot ar?

aiyoooo~

yo yo!Been a wonderful day today!NTUC dinner rocks la!
Love those aunties so so much!LOL
Anyway had such a wonderful dinner at boonlay raja restaurant,not the food that is main focus but it's the precious time that we can get together to fellowship & spent some time together!


Took really some pictures with those aunties!
Jason say I'm a auntie killer~!LOL is that a compliment?haha.

smile lei..camera shy?
peijun,shu mei & me of cos!=]
muahahaha!!I'm a auntie killer~!

wow..!sexy~
LOL..take 2!
my beloved neighbour! =]
here's another shot!
after all these..do you agree with jason?LOL...XD



Had a super fun day!
anyway just read a friend's post & it talked about people just won't understand.Thinking of some problems,perhaps friends look at me as a cheerful exterior.but i do have my own problems,problems that people won't understand ,today aunt janet say I'm that kind of person that thinks alot,alot in the mind & kept things to myself,not that kind that share their problems .Somehow it's a double edge character.

Not talking about aunt janet of cos,just some other people that won't understand me..once they step on my tail..it's hard for me to let go especially if it really hurts me.

Once a relationship is broken,gone are the days that I thrust you..you can never recover spilled water.I expected more from you just like you did on me..but things does not meant to be in this way.You only understand the cream & not those below it.You failed to convince me what your expectation are and vice versa(not sure if i spelt correctly) .


I surface a problem and you defended it.
You say you have your right.
But I do have mine.
I did not mean you are the only one that is wrong.
But I said,it takes 2 hand to clap.
But then
you told me the problem lies in me alone.
I understand the problem in me.
But you fail to accept and acknowledge my displeasure.
I don't care if you are reading.
I say what I want.


ups and down are inevitable
helping sometimes lead to misleading
forging my heart with your words
my attitude goes wayward down
in the end
nothing
and I say nothing
was able to build back the thrust

Another long long day..hahaa tiring but at least not stuck at home.=]

Start off my day working at NTUC..sigh none of the "boonlay gang"member came today.working alone in the grocery department,stacking all those rice up..super thanks to ah chin & janet for helping!

My back are breaking because of the amount of rice i have to stack..it's not alot but I'm thin okie...5 packs of rice was pack in a big bag which is equal to 50kg and it is not just 5 packs!

one big bag it's about the same weight as me lor=.=

anyway it's okie,hardship mould me up ya?Next time maybe you will see a more "MACHO" longjin! =)

Guess what?I saw xin yi today at ntuc,I'm not sure if it was her at first but she really look familiar.

I even purposely walk past her to get a closer look at her,lol..cant believe i did that..but then still not sure..wanted to say hi but thinking of what if I'm wrong?haha..so i thought"okie forget it"

In the end she walk past me so i looked at her & she looked back,she smiled so i smiled back..=]

Tada!It's her!LOL

After that i met my classmates for some bball in sch..but..sigh..it rained once we get started..oh man.So we just sit at canteen to chat & play psp.LOL

But someone said something that I'm not happy,he said Jason go to church because of girls & he even asked me if he was right.I said no,i believe in jason.

But he don't agree,i remain silence cos I know they won't understand and i don't want a very long debate over this..lol and of cos i was playing psp!=X

Anyway how can they slander someone reputation infront of others?even if it is meant to be a joke.I don't know why they are not convience.

Anyway jason if you are reading,please do not get angry over this.They do not understand but you do and be tactful over this.

I wan to be a better person

I said no to slander

no to criticising

no to lie

I know it's never easy

but nothing it's immpossible

hey! i change my blog skin!!nice?

I'm sure it's nice!hehe..anyway special thanks to grace for the skin!=]

God spoke to me?

1. Door close but not locked



2. Your lust to be taken away
   


3. Be in my presence constantly
   


4. Don't feel sorry, for every man had sin



5. Fear me & not the world
   
   
   

I locked myself inside my room & He spoke to me

He flooded me with all these thoughts that i don't know why

He just keep talking to me

"Faith is like a stamina,if you never work on it,it will never increase"

I asked:How can i go back cell group?

Immediately He told me

"Just go back."

I went silence..

Suddenly I heard something..

"Don't be influence by the song.."

I paused awhile,was it the devil?

And He continue

"But by my love"

People thought once you are a christian,you will be blessed like never before.We will get what we want through prayer.If we got it,we praise Him..but if we don't,we had multitudes of doubts against Him.Thus we slowly become complacent with the relationship we had.Our God is not a Santa Claus but He is indeed a giver.

As I'm writing this post,something faded again..I really need to meditate on it.

Another day that my workplace was filled with praise songs!=]

awesome...

An account of my spiritual diaries..

Actually wanna sleep,but somehow decided to read these diaries,memories of myself when I'm still a young christian.Think twice about posting..thinking the reactions of those who read,anyway i wanna post it just because it's my blog.=]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

02oct07:

my quiet time was interrupt again.this time its twice..sigh..really need to find a solution.But anyway God spoke to me today,matt 5:12,2 corinthians 4:8-9.I really need to be strong.I must be kingdom minded & not worldy minded.God told me that jokes & critisim i'm facing are normal infact its is just a small matter.God also told me to ignore those worldy commemts & focus on Him.i really need to repent,i felt that i'm too easily influence by them & i must have a stronger character and act in a tactful way.i should not get angry but b'cos i'm doing great things that the devil is not happy about.i really need to die to be more like Jesus.2 corinthins 4:8-(we are hard pressed on every side but not crushed;perplexed but not despair;) when i read this verse suddenly a thought came into my mind,i'm not even hard pressed on every side,& yet i'm crushed,where is my faith?


things i need to improve:-be strong,dont be easily influence by the worldy comments
-be more kingdom minded
-be more discipline & act in a tactful way

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

03oct07:

Today i say sorry to God as recently my faith was crushed, i tried to start quiet time yesterday,but somehow i cant feel the presence of God.But today as i come b4 God,telling Him i'm sorry & immediatly His presence filled my room.I start with listening to worship songs to welcome God's presence.Today i pray for w320,jason,kunlin & zhihui.

I pray that w320 will be a cell grp of love & unity,so that friends that come will enjoy themselves & be able to feel God's presence,love & a sense of belonging.i just felt that w320 should be more ambitious.A cell grp not just to introduce God to friends or members "happy go lucky" everyday(including me).I feel that w320 will grow from increade to increase not in members but in spiritual level & unity.Let us not be a normal cell grp,but a cell grp that is going change our lives,a cell grp that is well-known in the neighbourhood for our good deeds that we had done.Let us not be happy with this current level,let us not be satisfied,let us be more hungry for God.

I pray for zhihui N-level exam that he is going to do well.He is going to glorify & impact his class,school & teachers with his result.He will be the head & not the tail so that when ppl look at him,they will see God in him.

I pray that jason to be more open towards God.There might be many doubts &unbelieving attitude in him that prevent him from knowing God but i pray that God can take away everything from him,his hatred,stubborness,unforgiveness,anger in xchange for all of God's love.I pray that there will be continual hunger & thirst for God.

I pray that kunlin be more open to cell grp(including me).I pray that he will be more faithful & committed to God,i pray that he will be more hungry & thirsty for God.

At this point,my house phone rang..again interrupted.I apologise to God,the next quiet time,i'm gonna unplug my house phone,switch my hp to silent mode & tell family members not to enter my room.

song:delirious?
read:2 corin 6,proverbs7
time:1hr20min
again i need to remind myself not to too depend on delirious cds when doing quiet time.

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05oct07:

Today quiet time i recommit myself to God,i pray that i could be renew again & i really need fresh oil from heaven.

During the last few days,my faith is like roller coaster,but now i'm felt much better now,refreshed & peace,probably i was lubricated by the oil.Today i did not pray for anyone accept me,i just want to focus on our relationship in this quiet time,just want to meet Him in lalaland.

things i need to improve:-be more open minded
-be kingdom minded
-spiritual discipline
-trust God more
songs-delirious,i want to sing,first love,one life one love
read-proverbs 8

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06oct07:

Today i pray a little,but i felt that God is telling me not to be selfish.Many times,i pray or heard ppl say "Love your enemies" or " put others before yourself." I asked myself,i can pray & pray but deep inside me, am i willing to do that?or have i done that?

I felt that God is telling me to be more generous,not just in financially but to do things that i dont like or things that incovience me,perhaps GoD is telling me to serve.I know i'm imperfect & there's time that i will be selfish,but i have to remind myself to serve more.

read:proverbs 9
time:15min

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07oct07:

07sep07 quiet time was a very,very poor one.Not just poor,but lack of discipline.I really need discipleship.I felt God was upset with me today.I started my quite time without my bible,notebook & pen with me,i did not even prepare songs that i want to sing,things that i want to pray.

I realise that i was totally out of flow with the Holy Spirit.I also realise that when i'm out of flow,i cant see a revelation from God,i cant hear Him.I felt so guilty,but i told Him that i'm going to improve my quiet time in the area of discipline.I pray for forgiveness & the next quiet time,i must do better!

time:15min
songs:one life, one love
read:proverbs 10,revelation 1:1-10

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11oct07:

As i try to improve my quiet time from the previous one,it seems that everyday i spot more improvememt.I'm not there yet, but i felt that God is telling me where i go wrong everyday!Today i realise that my prayer was dry, many times i'm lost at words.I usually pray with worship music on,but today i pray wothout the music i couldn't flow well,& i realise that actually flowing with the music & not the Holy Spirit.

I realise that i had to balance between worship & prayer during my quiet time.I usually worship more than pray,therefore i really need to pray really more!!

things i must improve! :I need to spend more time to build up the atmosphere,like listening to songs for around 15mins to build up
my emotional & welcome God's presence.I will only start when i'm ready.Today i felt that i start my quiet time a bit
too rush,maybe b'cos it's quiet late so i want to start early.PRAY THRU FAITH !

time: 30mins
song : Hosanna,Rain down, God of my forever, come HS
Read : Proverbs 11
2 corinthians 11:1-15
revelation 12

I realise that satan was actually an ancient serpent.b'cos satan wants to devour the newborn male & he starts a war together with his angels in heaven.He was defeated & hurled down to earth.satan was filled with fury & he went on to make a war with ppl who keeps God's command.

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16oct07:

dear heavenly daddy,

today really thank you for the time u had with me,although its only a short 30mins meeting but i felt refresh,recharge.its been some time i really had a great encounter with you.I'm sorry that for the last few days because of coming home late i miss a number of meeting with you,although that was not suppose to an excuse.

Father i really pray that my spiritual level will go to a higher level so as the windows of heaven will open upon me.i need to be more consistent with my pray,i need to bold to keep asking & have faith ti have actions,as the bible says keep seeking & u will find & keep knocking & the door will be open to me.i need to be more perseverance.

I'm so excited about the coming building fund,although it hurts me alot when i will be broke during that period of time but i'm going to take the step of faith.Father i'm not going to tell my family members about this but help me to let them understand wat i'm doing.I'm so scared that they will find out but i don't care,i know u will be with me always.

Father i really pray hard for a guitar,i want to learn to sing praise & worship songs to you with a guitar.Its seems impossible to buy a guitar during building fund period but somehow i know its coming,i belive i will get my guitar soon.

Father help me to be a more giving person,though i'm financially tight i still want to have the habit of blessing friends,& i still want to tithe faithfully.

Father i also pray for wilma today, i really pray that u could help her.she seems to be cheerful infront of us but i know that she was facing a problem.She failed 3 times for her exam & was very sad about all the failings.She told me that during svc,edmund share a testi about all his failings & how he prayed & find a way out.She told me that she was thinking to change a direction maybe to find a more suitable job.But

Father i felt that she should keep on going & pray for a revelation & hear what you will speak to her.I remember amber preach about this person,i cant remember his name but i know that he was going to cross the ocean & God told him to walk in faith & the ocean waters will open up a dry passage way for him to cross.He walk into the water,step by step the water level keep rising,he was afraid but faith overcome his fear & in the end God really opened a path for him to cross the ocean.when we fail to see the blessing from God,we tend to have many doubts in us,i do not know which way You want wilma to choose,but i pray that Father you will speak to her during her quiet time.

Longjin.

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18oct07:

I'm sitting in front of my com playing game,then i just started singing some worship songs.somehow i felt God's presence..haha..then i left my table & sat on my bed & started to speak in tongues for 10mins.I challenge myself if i can speak for 10mins & i did it!praise God!

As i speak in tongues i started to think wat am i going to pray & a list came out,i started writing down on a scrap paper.I pray for my house for cg,new friend stella,job,cg,svc,guitar,laiaik & kunlin & all the getting started members.

After my prayer,i felt that i really need to improve..i should prayer in more details,& be patient with my prayer,i should not rush through them.I finish all my prayer in 10mins...

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22oct07:

yesterday night i asked God for a amount that i should give to the building fund,he dint give me an amount,he wants everything.After tithing & paying of hp bills,the rest will go to God..I ask God many times..do u really need so much?He said YES.I really cried,tears roll down my cheeks as i keep asking.

God answer was firm.I had no choice but to comply.After that prayer i sms amber wanted to talk to her,i was emoing,lying on my bed listerning to worship songs & in the end i fell aslp.

I prayed for spiritual & finanice breakthrough,i believe i will sow in tears & reap in joy,where i planted my seed,i will expect wat kind of harvest.Although its going to be real hard for the coming 6 months,i really got to pray more & discipline myself against temptations.Can i pass God's test?only time will tell..
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28oct07:

Today was a special day,my father bless me with a pair of leather shoe.I recalled seow shi's testi on sat.Both our fathers were not with us when we were growing up,for me i'm used to it,used to without his presence.hmm..i suppose this should be a spiritual diary,haha!

Today quiet time was great.I sang saviour king & i really love this song.It really touches me.For all our sins.Jesus had to die,worst still,we sin like nobody business.

Today i pray for myself,Jason & chc.It's been a few days since my last quiet time.I remembered,i prayed to God for discipline,to be more commited,but again it's faith without action.But God's presence was really strong today.As i pray for jason,i felt that salvation & revival it's coming.There will be a breakthrough.I just felt that somewhere b4 this this or the beginning of next year,he will humble himself b4 the lord.i hope i'm right.

30,000 members,i believe in the next ten years,salvation is going to sweep through singapore.Mighty revival,mighty breakthrough.I pray for a 15k seater stadium,indoor & air-conditioned

Again,i had to remind myself to be more discipline & depend on God more..

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and yet i decided to close my door

hey yo!!just came back from work.Yup!at this time..haha.Anyway today something surprises me while working today.Christian songs filled my workplace..wow wow..really didn't expect that,praise songs in NTUC?I must be dreaming!Here are some of the lyrics!

Jesus come & take me away to your secret place..make me more like you each passing day..you keep knocking at my heart

another one goes..

OH Christ is coming back again..rain or shine he's coming soon

Gosh!i can't believe what i heard,i purposely pause my work and listen carefully.I'm convince after that..maybe my boss was doing her own quiet time in her office i thought,LOL.(or was it God knocking at me?XD)

Anyway left work with albert at 11pm,poor junbao,sam & jason got to work overnight..lol..jia you!!=D

Great!Had a nice day today!!My bro birthday!But b4 that met with kuan hwee for a job interview!Thinking of meeting up with karwen,jason & xinyi for movie but some of them were unavailable,anyway it doesn't matter,more fun ahead!

Had a family dinner at clementi seafood restaurant,dinner was oishi!!haha..after dinner went to LOT 1 to shop for awhile & bought my bro a pants!
Well..nothing fancy about LOT 1..so boring.=(

After LOT 1,watched STEP UP 2 together with my bro & sis.COOL!!niceee movie!!5 star for me!haha..already had some plans when going to poly,decided to join dancing!lol..miss dancing though,once had a performance together with cell group some time ago & since then i fell in lovewith dance!Din't got the chance now but surely going for dancing when i go poly!

Met kuan hwee,kok peng,jason,karwen & xinyi(new friend)!!haha..had a nice time at jp=D
we watch 10,000 B.C,nice show,4/5!Nice adventurous & touching show luh.^^
We went to toy'saruas after that,lol..no idea why gals like it so much..haha..anyway had uber fun there!:)


sooo sweet!=D

sigh..suppose to be my wedding gown,but turn out sooo ugly=(

<-say cheese!->

posing as couple!=D

lolz I'm missing my children

hehe..decided to upload this video to go with my wed 3rd of march post!haha

tml exam le,gonna sleep now..all the best to myself !=D

I'm coming back ppl!我要回来了=D

Just need a bit more time to really settle down..

亲爱的 amber,
there are countless times that i had made you feel disappointed,but at the end of the day i still gonna say thank you for what u had done for me.The problem with me is always going against you but at that time maybe have alot of messy thoughts spinning inside me.I seem to focus my circumstances instead of God.What jason told me was true enough,why am i going cell group?He told me to focus on God and not what is happening around me.Captivated by those words he said to me last night.Amber,definitely more fiction were to come when i decided to go back,but I will control my temper,discipline myself and keep remind myself that I had to listen.
All I want is to have some time to sort out some things in my mind,maybe in the end I will still decide not to go back..but i believe by posting this, is the first step of faith I will take,and hopefully this step of faith will bring something great.

亲爱的 sijia,
somehow i felt sorry for the way I treated you.I'm sorry.You are just one helpful girl that is just reaching out your hand to me and I treated you awfully.You are indeed faithful to able to stand my nonsense.Thank you!

亲爱的 jason,
thank you for what you said to me yesterday night.I believed that you are beginning to grow in a very positive way,but sometimes i felt that you should not install unnecessary fear in you.Yes we as humans do fear a lot,big and small but constantly living in a atmosphere of fear is unhealthy.I believe you will have your breakthrough when you understand how to depend on God more.I'm not better than you too,we both got a lot to learn.I remember many times in the past you said I'm proud by saying things that don't seem humble enough for you to accept,but I'm just know that I had to be more positive rather than inviting fear but of cause not going over the limit and become cocky.We both got to work hard to break away this spirit of fear that had captivate our lives,we are no puppet of fear.Fear is not just define as scare of something,it means a lot.. a lot,like having no assurance or feeling insecurity or inferior.That is why I rebel against my leader.

Here are some other friends that i gonna thanks for helping me through indirectly: kuan hwee
Jun Bao
Grace

Good news ppl!LOL..can't believe it, just recieve a phone call from my colleague that i strike 4D !!=D Haha..so funny,i bought 2259 & 5922 cos sam & aunty moo dan(don't know how to spell her name!lolz)birthday falls on today, so some of the aunties there decided to buy 2259 & 5922 as they put their age together.So i decided to join in the fun & tada!!JACKPOT!!=D

Anyway had a great day today,we really had fun through working though,sam's aunty bought him a mango cake!So everyone join in to sang him & moo dan aunty a birthday song,even stella(boss) join in too!She even chip in money to buy sam a watchhh!!=D

Sam gonna wish u a happy belated birthday at 22,may u be blessed with more smiles on your face!smile more dude!!Anyway hope you enjoy your birthday celebration today & of cos the present.=D

hope i can get some pics from jason for this post!:)

somehow for no reason i browse through some of the cg members blog,kinda miss them =(
should i go back?

Dear Longjin=(,
Your bleeding really got to STOP!=D


from:longjin=D

sometimes i really feel like screaming
feel like confessing
but i cares about your reaction
multitude of odds are against me
how can i get over it

the sour feeling that is in me
is slowly draining me down
it's been so long already
yet i hope on the very beginning
i did not decide it

though the pain i'm going through is tormenting
i'm always trying to be stong
i told myself to let it go
but yet i still hope something will happen

hello ppl!Had a tired day today luh.Rented a bravo fiat car together with classmates for this outing.Thanks God for protection though.i almost had a accident while i'm driving,thanks to junlong too for his wonderful reaction..or i will be flying my way to hospital & i won't be here posting this post!I was tired & nervous luh almost hit the left kerb while 2 lane merge into 1..gosh! =D

I guess it will be the last time i rent a car,too expensive & dangerous le..haiz..anyway it's a good experience.Hmm..i'm tired,shall end here =D

Up and down
My faith is like
Like a battery
That needs to be recharge
Here i am to pray and sing
For your kingdom for your Son
My heart is here
That is not open
How r u going to enter
But here i say
Never give up
All the way
Thru the narrow way

oh man,today got back my electrical practice test paper.=(
sad..but =D
i din't deserved to score,i was complacent din't put in much effort to prepare it..perhaps i'm overconfident.Anyway i belive i should have score higher,I know how to do those question but kinda mixed up some of the fomulars so in the end got it wrong.But 76% was not bad huh?But not good enough.=(

I deserved a BIG slap across my face for the attitude i've put in.Indeed a great "wake up call" for me before the the real exam that is coming in a week time.

I'm gonna be back with a better result!



Time had past & lost
But the memories seem to have left behind
The tangible memories that flood my mind
& tears that flood my dreams
I seem to lost my courage
I chose to turn away
From you & even You

Today got really piss off after svc...sry ppl!But really can't take it,why are they only believing from 1 point of view.I'm don't mean she is lying but at least you should know that you don't know what really happened,how can u pre-judge everything!Don't you know you have to understand both sides instead of one?Maybe I'm not willing to share but you should understand to spare some thoughts from my view.Jason spoke to me after that,things are not as simple as it is..maybe you will say not as complicated as it was but anyway..so disappointed with "one people" & myself & this is not the first time!.

Anyway had a fantastic time with boonlay gang!!We went to baoyu house to eat steamboat!!haha..i love those scallop & abalone!!yummy!!=D
After dinner boonlay gang sat down & enjoy our "psp craze"lol more dou ji yan la!Haha reallly enjoy!!Gathering was fun!=D I love boonlay gang!LOL

I deleted the previous post today.Felt I shouldn't post any emo post unnecessary.

Finally manage to squeeze some time to blog something..haha.Yesterday was a tiring day for me,playing basketball for almost the whole day.Gosh..my legs are breaking.Kinda miss the secondary school days playing soccer on every recess time,perhaps i'm old le..long hours of basketball really killing me out..haha=D

But sport was fun & "I lovin' it!"

Today went to jurong point ->cine leisure then to bugis!!COOLLLL!!!!watched fool's gold at cine leisure,nice show!After the movie,we had our dinner at sakura..woo cost me 27.50 bucks..ouch~=(

But we do need to enjoy once in a while ya?=D

Went to bugis after that to shop for some watches,tempted to buy 2 watches,1 in white for casual wear while the other to match formal clothing but in the end decided not to buy any..LOL
Went to visit jing yan after that at his lan-shop to watch him play DOTA..owning other players..haha "DOUBLE KILL~!"We left around 11pm & took bus 61 back home..reach home at around 1220.

hey ppl !exam coming,somehow don't feel anything about it..haha!! =D As normal did some revision in sch..haha took some silly pics by my friend..LOL later gonna meet them at science centre for some self study!

Anyway ppl,grace last day of work on last sunday..oh so sad..haha =/
No gal to see le..haha joking la..anyway boonlay gang must be sad ba..huh?
anyway grace,jia youuuuu!! all the best ya?although we don't really know each other but boonlay gang will always miss u!LOL

some silly pics taken in sch!

say cheesezz!!LOL

shao yuan!!=D

i'm focusing on my textbook ok?



taken from multishot function..aww looks ugly :(

arh..recently i felt i had alot of anger inside me..with cg & some close friends...haiz maybe just should learn to let loose a bit.haha..haiz again who can i turn to when i had problem with my spiritual walk..sianz
don't wanna look for them to solve problem le,later more misunderstanding...
Yesterday went to watch ah long pte ltd with jason, kunlin & wilma..haiz before movie got really piss off..totally no mood,almost wanna just walk away..but too bad lo i bought the tickets le..haha don't wanna waste those money.. :p Anyway don't say why i piss off..not very good to blog here ya?lol...zz
Anyway sry people,i let my mood affected the outing..:(
Recently changing my imgae..lol spent $185 in 2 days just on shopping alone..lol




never felt this way before
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone.
When you're gone.
The pieces of my heart are missing you
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

Today never go svc,felt abit guilty..hmm..anyway today was a great day!!

Went to vivo city with junbao & peiying!!We intended to watch ah long..but only left the front seats..sianz..decided not to watch,we went to eat at charles's junior & window shopping instead.:)

Jason arrive later on after his cg & met us at candy empire..lol poor junbao had to fork out 20 bucks for those chocalate..haha.Anyway after that we went to the top floor & spent our time playing around & taking really silly pics..lol,having fun once in a while was great,everyone was happy joking around & playing with the water & in the end i wet my pants!

As we were about to go,peiying complain about gastric pain & junbao bought her some cold milk & some gastric medicine for her..thought she will get better but in the end she complain of more pain..hmm gosh!But everything was still cool,we sat just outside mrt station to rest awhile while me & junbao bought some warm milk for her,after she felt better & we took cab & left for home.

sometimes i do really think he look like Bob the builder

WA!...superman!
They just love it!
peiying!:)

Jason was desperate for some drink!

She still wanna play!!
Drop dead after a long day..
I really look GAY!=.=
outing was great!
This is how we look when we are emo-ing

She just love mickey


still dead...
arh...we look like jerks!yucks!

BYE!!

Today was my 1st time went out with peiying,she is more "crazy" than i expected..lol haha!

rest well & take care ya?

Today was rather boring,just browse thru my blog..all the sad & happy memories that i have gone thru...haiz..thats one post that really thouch me..

Up and down

My faith is like

Like a battery

That needs to be recharge

Here i am to pray and sing

For your kingdom for your Son

My heart is here

That is not open

How r u going to enter

But here i say

Never give up

All the way

Thru the narrow way

it really describe me,my faith..sigh..its been a long way,nvm what's past let it be past..

when will you be back?i miss you

"Valentine's day is cruel to those who are not attached"That's what i told junbao yesterday..but today was a memorable day!

COZ I PASS MY DRIVING TEST ! !

Woke up 4+am, maybe too excited so wake up early,tried going back to sleep but woke up again at 6 plus.Give up,get out of bed,wash up then tried to play some games to get my mind off the test but it din't really work.In the end went to BBDC,sat there to wait for warm up..blood gushing to my head..lol too neavous i think..Warm up was okie,gained some confidence after everything went smoothly.

I was happy that i'm able to pass my test..my car stalled while i was reversing while doing parallel parking,failed to comfirm safety check & i even beat amber light !After the tester revealed my result i finally able to relax knowing finally the test is over!!cheers!!

I called my friends & parents telling them about the good news!some of them can't believed that i passed my test with the mistake i made!LOL

Later i went to meet junbao & jason at JP for some quick shopping..lol jason bought a HUGE & LONG flower for sijia!!haha..happy valentine's day!After which we went to somerset to meet sijia & dine at wheel lock NYDC..
What a wonderful day it is,although no valentine for me but today brings out a day of friendship & marks the day that i can drive with freedom!!

i was deducted 16 points!

Finally the result..hooray!
Sijia defeated a cookie monster!!

whhoo...today sch sell valentine card & key chain lei..so sad no valentine partner for me lol.shao yuan ar support your valentine event i lost 10 bucks lei..lol just joking,i don't mind..must support you!! jia you!!haa..brother hor?..^^

haiz.. tml driving test le..dono can pass anot...both my friends take thiers today failed..oh no..so sad

But i must have confidence!!Kuan hwee say no matter how DON'T get nervous!..

don't worry be happy,must tell myself I CAN DO IT !!

This was the valentine key chain that i bought,cute rite?^^

hey ppl..jason urge me to post this pic of me onto my blog,so i uploaded it..lol really can't figure out what i'm trying to do that very moment...

gosh...really can't believe this is me :D

kunlin din't turn for sch today cos he overslept..today sch ends at 1130am,went to kuan khwee hse for a while then meet some classmates & junbao at clementi..jason bought his psp! Pink in color..cool man i oso want!! lol,6 ppl follow him just to buy his psp..haha:)
After clementi me & junbao alight at jurong east,our destination suppose to be jurong east st 24..we planning to go there buy memory stick,then we found out that jurong entertainment wast st 13!! gosh..donno which way to go,walk here & there...but somehow we manage to find ourselves there & actually it was at yuhua village.. around 20-30mins of walking so happy!finally! ^^
T.T we found out that the shop was closed..crap crap..low morale..both of us emo=.=
we walk around for a while & saw lion dancing performed at the coffeeshop...stood there a while to see..lol
We decided to go west mall after that to look for our memory stick but in e end disappointed again..too ex.Walk around a while then we decided to go home.

this pic taken when on bus to clementi..should take more pics..my blog look so plain

cute ya?taken in school

some of my friends i miss, here are some of the pics.. ah kun & wilkinson
karwen & egg

amber
wilma
seow ting
terecia
timq

GOSH! Just found out that a friend of mine getting to register her marriage in a month time!Don't know who that guys is or what is he doing,but somehow i felt that it's too early for her to get marriage at 18..not pouring cold water but i felt that she is not ready yet..especially financially, emotionally & career wise.

I did not say about this to her but gave my blessing anyway,feeling that she won't change her mind anyway & it's not too good for me to make any comments..haha

shock shock shock!

life was getting back on track. It's been a long struggle..but glad i'm able to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Still sad about something but it's okie..got to move forward & not backward.Recently working very hard at NTUC cos CNY is coming..extreme long working hours but I'm happy for myself that I'm able to apply what i learned in church & my 1st discipleship class..though I'm tired but gonna focus on what I'm doing..in whatever situation I am in,I'm gonna do my best.Gurellia working hours are freaking me out..but I'm happy,healthy,motivated & strong!Not feeling discourage or complaining.About cg, it's sad that I put a full-stop over this but i never regret the decision..i felt it's getting better.

Recently i think alot..or always I'm thinking alot..think about my christian walk with W320..i felt blessed, honestly never i regret making the decision to call amber that very night to say that i want to accept Christ..things are not going smoothly though..but really learn alot.

Some things you can only learn or discover when you are going through a trial or difficulty, sometimes when I'm are in a comfort zone..I tend to be complacent..easy going & a childish mindset..I really don't have the courage to face amber..somehow feeling guilty inside although i belive i made the right decision on leaving but honestly love is unconditional, expecting no return..maybe is because of my pride..misunderstanding..anger..don't know..but amber i still gonna say "I LOVE YOU". Maybe i don't understand or maybe you don't..anyway it doesn't matter..I still appreicate you for what you had done for me.

Gonna log..it's late, got to wake up 6am to work.


Belive that tomorrow will be a great day!

I took a color quiz from karwen's blog & that's what its says about me
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

I saw you from afar..
so near and yet so far..
you were all alone..
stop my legs from walking to you..
but my eyes won't listen..
I look away when you turn in my direction..
the door opened and we both went in..
you disappear into the crowd..
when the door opened again..
you were gone..
did you saw me that day..

since the decision to leave cg,i felt a little more peaceful...guess it was the right decision to take a little break..not sure if i will be going back,but definitely not now.
During this low point i had spiritually,i believe i look things at a different way.Although i did not pray & fast or do the things christian do..i still felt that i learn something from a different angle,a different prospective.
Leaving cg was a decision hard to make,but i still have to go,friends will not understand or agree with me even if i explain.But i still hope for friendship between us.
Friday night went to bugis street with jason,karwen & sijia..had a funny feeling throughout the outing..felt that sijia wants to reach out to me,trying to persuade me to go back cg..although she did not pop the question but somehow had this feeling.I treated her coldly throughout.
I really appreciate for her efforts but for the time being my answer is a big "NO".
anyway thank you sijia if you are reading this.

everyday i longed to see your face
everyday i dream of you in my deeper heart
chasing the past memories that you left behind
how i wish was a passing dream
if i had a chance to walk again
never i will to choose this path
as my hurts were burdened
my tears are dry
did you ever thought of my feeling
just once & i will be pleased
love is beautiful but tiring
but to stop loving, will be a lot more painful
a disgrace to lose a friend
a friend of love...
a friend of integrity...
a friend of happiness...
i will never be the same again

memories..

everyday I'm thinking about you..
chasing the past memories..
i can only see you in my dream..
to see the joy we spent together..
everytime i dream my heart turn sour..
hoping the dream will become true..
wishing everyday to see you..
my heart remain silent as i cry..
the others will not understand..

taking it easy..

I feel like I'm moving further & further away..no point confessing,its no longer a solution.No one will understand..or maybe i don't understand.Taking every step without a heart..but i will keep on walking..no point turning back..i just don't understand u.

what i can think of God..

1.Almighty
2.pillow(comforter)
3.refuge
4.love
5.gentleman
6.perfect
7.doctor(healer)
8.banner
9.saviour
10.papa
11.leader
12.compass
13.light
14.river
15.invisible man

what about you?

learn more..

Those who loves to be discipled loves the world
Those who hates to be discipled hates even himself

Suddenly these words pop out of my mind while i'm working,God trying to speak to me?
hmm...ard 1 month had past since wilma left..need a lot of breakthrough..learn alot of things recently through
this bad period,perhaps is a blessing in disguise.
Recently felt quite settle now..at last.Just decided to join dialect church..hmm thought of mum again..must treat her better,i told her that i gonna cook for her dinner if i'm at home during evening.Must show ppl love more often.

God is always there for me even i turn my back against Him & wanted to run away from Him,but He just won't let me go.

BREAKING AWAY

God move me in a different way..

yesterday i decided to join dialect church as my ministry.Though actually didn't understand what the preaching is all abt,but i still rejoicing in the mist of God's presence,all i knew was they were praying for 1000 in attendance for Christmas service.

Looking at those elderly rejoicing as well,i was thinking do they really know who is He?
They do,even many of them look snoob(no offence)but they are still hungry for God.

It's a wonderful experience for me personally,seeing 2 preacher on stage.I was there 2 help removing the chairs to make way for their wheelchairs & suppose to help on ushering as well & to build up the atmosphere..but hm..i feel like i'm attending a service.

It was a great sight to see the elderly still so excited even they are leaving the auditorium even though some grumble y is the lift so long.i was standing beside waiting for them to clear out so i can pull those chairs out then one ah ma wave at me to say goodbye..wow my heart felt just like marshmallow,i felt appreciated.

....

I want to know You more
I want to love YOU more
The greatest devil is not satan but of me,myself
he can only temp you & tell you all the wrong things
but it is i who decide the final outcome
I must overcome myself,which is of my flesh..

Proverbs

proverbs 12:1
whoever loves discipline loves knowledge

proverbs 12:9
Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant
than pretend to be somebody and have no food

proverbs 19:20
Listern to advice and accept discipline and at the end you will be counted among the wise

I'm sorry god..

I'm sorry..
For what i have done..
To let u down once again..
I heard your word but refuse to comply..
I heard you crying but refuse to humble..
What is wrong in the inside me..
Take away that from me..
Make me weak..
So that u can be strong..
I need some oil..
To lubricate the inner me..
I must know to humble more..

dui bu qi...

i disappoint u one more time..I'm sorry..sorry for my pride..sorry for my rebellious attitude..but the next time i worship,i must be more positive..be more kingdom minded?i must have the faith of